Uncomfortable Truths (Anastasia the Nonbinary Dragon)

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They finally got to see Anastasia in zir human form. Ero was awestruck, and not just by zir beauty.

Anastasia glared at him. “Stop staring, Ero.”

The calf-shifter blinked. “Sorry, I just didn’t expect that you would, uh, present in such a masculine way.” He blushed.

Lucille stared at Ana like she could drill diamonds into zir skull. She gritted out, “I knew there was something familiar with you, Tundra.”

The dragon hissed. “My name is Anastasia. I’m very sorry for what happened to your farm, and they had no right to demand your milk especially as your son is long past nursing age. But there’s no need to deadname me.”

The cow-shifter had a mulish look on her face. “You can hide under any name you like, Anastasia. I just wonder why you don’t present in a more feminine fashion to better suit your identity.” Ero flinched at his mother’s ignorance.

Ana’s gaze was hard as glass. “You’re making a lot of assumptions about my identity. And contrary to many cis folks’ beliefs, not all of us trans folks want to change our presentation. Some of us are perfectly fine with the way we look and dress. It’s other people’s fault if they don’t care to respect our identity. And by the way, my pronouns are ze zir, not he him.”

A tense silence stretched. Ero reached out for Ana’s hand. Happily, ze accepted it, though perhaps Ana was the one in need of more comfort right now.

Lucille grimaced. “Look, I have no problems accepting trans folks’ identities, and I shouldn’t have assumed that you would prefer to look closer to the gender that your name suggests. But Tundra sounds gender neutral to me.”

Ana frowned. “Tundra sounds quite masculine in our dragon society, and I wanted nothing to do with it.”

Ero’s mother was still poised in her stance. “Okay, if you like. I have no interest in arguing. But don’t distract me from our grievances…Anastasia. It was thanks to you, that I — ”

Mateo took his wife’s arm. “Darling, let’s not go there.”

But Lucille was determined. She smirked. “You had a confusing parentage, didn’t you, dragon? Your ‘parents’ arranged to get cow-shifter milk for you to drink every day, because they wanted you to grow up great and strong.” She glared harder. “But it’s extravagant to get so much cow-shifter milk for the sake of one dragon child. Only the richest dragons of the realm could afford to do this.”

Anastasia glanced down at Ero. The calf-shifter returned zir gaze with a plaintive look. Ze said, “Yes, a couple of dragon princesses had taken a fancy to me, and decided to adopt me as their child. My biological parents were — unknown.”

“And how did you like your daily bottles of milk?” Lucille pushed on.

“I didn’t exactly enjoy it,” the dragon answered with a frosty expression. “But it gave me speed, strength, and stamina more than most dragons my age. As a child, I didn’t know how they got their milk, and I assumed that cows could produce milk forever. And I do regret it, but what’s done cannot be undone. I haven’t drunk any more cow-shifter milk in years, if that’s any comfort to you.”

“I assure you that it was not a comfort,” Lucille boomed. “You still indirectly took advantage of those young cow-shifters, whom the dragon nobles and royalties have turned into dairy cows. More than one lady has been shunned and kicked out onto the streets after she ran out of milk and refused to get pregnant again. Or she grew too old to make any more milk.” Lucille stared off into the distance. “But as you said, you were just a child, so how could I blame you for not knowing? Yet, I can’t forgive you for stealing my milk to save a friend who was already beyond all cure!”

The dragon bristled. Even in human form, ze was intimidating. “My friend wasn’t beyond all cure. Someone in the palace had been poisoning his food and drink, but it was a slow-acting poison that didn’t show up until years later. And I never hurt you. I only had someone take Ero away from you for a short while, so I could get some milk from you.” Ana gritted zir teeth. “My friend couldn’t afford to buy cow-shifter milk himself and I had promised to keep his illness a secret.”

Ero was startled that someone had taken him away from his mother, so that Ana could get Lucille’s milk. And who was poisoning zir friend?

Lucille pursed her lips. “Yet, you had to choose my milk over everyone else’s. And I know you picked me on purpose.” Her tone was accusatory.

Ero looked from his mother to Anastasia in panic. “Can you just tell me what happened?”

The dragon shot him a quick glance and grimaced. “I’d rather not get into it.”

Lucille raised her chin. “My son isn’t as vulnerable as you’re making him sound. He can take a lot more than that.”

The calf-shifter looked down at his feet. It wasn’t that he didn’t like his mother’s vote of confidence, but he didn’t want his mom and Ana to fight. He had been curious when Ana said his mom would dislike zir in human form, but he hadn’t thought that their antagonism would be this strong.

His father looked uncomfortable but didn’t seem like he was going to intervene. Mildred was frowning but didn’t appear to want to interrupt, either.

Ero let out a deep sigh. “Anastasia, please just tell me. I’m sick of all this suspense.” What he didn’t say out loud was that he wished there were no secrets between him and Ana. And while he had faith in the dragon’s goodness, he also needed more answers.

Ana gave him a considering look, before saying, “Fine. But I need to speak with you alone, with nobody else to interrupt.”

Lucille hissed and was about to retort, but her husband restrained her this time. “Please, Luci. Just let the kids go. Ero is a smart boy and can take care of himself. Why don’t they talk in the barn while we wait outside? Anastasia saved our son’s life, so ze won’t hurt him.”

Ero was relieved that his dad was asserting himself, for once. His mom growled and protested, but at last said, “Fine, but don’t take too long, and swear on your honor that you won’t distort the truth to make my son feel better about you.”

Ana clenched zir jaw. “You have my word.”

Ero inhaled a deep breath before following his dragon friend into the barn. He was scared of what horrors he might learn, but also thrilled to discover more of Ana’s past.

***

It felt like they were in a world alone, even in his familiar barn with its musty sweet smells.

Ana gestured for Ero to sit on the straw, before taking a seat opposite him.

Ero spoke up first, “I’m sorry that my mom assumed you had to present in a feminine way to be valid. She’s not a bad person, but she can be quite inconsiderate. And um, I’m sorry too that when I saw you present in a masc way, I thought you were actually transmasc rather than transfemme. I was ignorant.”

Anastasia crossed zir arms and let out a deep sigh. “Transmasc, transfemme. Is there nothing else beyond that? I’m not a boy, no matter how I look in human form. But I’m not a girl, either, despite my chosen name. In any case, I am neither transfemme nor transmasc. My gender is somewhere outside of these spectra. But I feel comfortable with the name Anastasia, my ze zir pronouns, and even my human appearance, except when people assume I’m a boy.”

Ero looked down at his feet. “Sorry…”

“It’s fine. I’m glad that you’re at least not defensive, and not trying to tell me how to live my own life,” Ana said.

“Of course.” Ero dared to look up and meet zir eyes again. “Do people often tell you what to do and how to live your life?”

Ana pressed zir lips together. “You could say that.” Ze flicked a bit of hay off of zir pants. “So do you want to hear more of the story about your mom, or what?”

The calf-shifter almost burst out: I don’t just want to hear about my mom. I want to hear about you. But he controlled himself and nodded instead.

Ana was silent for a while, as if unsure of how to begin. When ze finally spoke, it was in a quiet, meditative voice. “What I didn’t mention was that Lucille was an adoptive sister to one of my mothers.”

Ero gaped. He didn’t know what to say to that.

“So in a way, she was right that I chose her milk for a reason. I already knew her, as she was my auntie,” Ana said. Ze made a strained smile. “Your mom was an orphan and the dragon queen on my mom Teefa’s side, took pity on her, even though Lucille was a cow-shifter and it was rare to have a cross-species adoption. But my grandma was the queen, so who had the right to refuse her?”

Ana’s eyes grew distant. “But maybe different species weren’t supposed to mix, after all. Your mom soon rebelled against my grandma and even Teefa. She thought the dragon royalties were tyrannical and controlling.” Ze rolled zir eyes. “Not like Lucille isn’t a controlling person herself.”

Ero piped up and asked, “Wait, different species aren’t supposed to mix?” He couldn’t hide the tremor in his voice.

The dragon shifter raised an eyebrow. “I’m not talking about us, Ero. Of course people of different species can be friends. But it might be hard to be family members, at least in your mom’s case.”

Ero was both relieved and disappointed by this answer, but he didn’t want to think about why. After a pause, he said, “My mom never told me that much. I just knew she was an orphan. She didn’t explain why I didn’t have grandparents on her side. But — ” He felt sheepish. “I guess I didn’t really care because I would rather go on adventures than to visit relatives anyway.” He chuckled awkwardly. “I would have been able to see Auntie Teefa, you, and your other mother — ”

“Auntie Leyla,” Anastasia replied without missing a beat. Ze sighed. “It wasn’t meant to be an offense to your mother that I took some of her milk. Of all the cow-shifters in the palace, I was most familiar with her, as you can imagine. And it was only supposed to be a one-time event that wouldn’t hurt either you or your mother.”

Despite Ero’s love for Anastasia, even he could sense that something was missing in zir tale. “Hold on.” He frowned. “Why was my mom a dairy cow in the first place? And — who was this friend you were trying to save?” He stared at Ana. “What else aren’t you telling me?”

Anastasia grimaced and looked away. “I wish you weren’t so sharp,” ze muttered.

Normally, Ero would have been delighted at this praise. But this time, he scowled. “Ana, come on. If we are friends, why do you have to keep so many secrets from me?”

Anastasia closed zir eyes. “It’s — ” Ze sighed. “I’m not sure how to say this nicely, but…Lucille was very rebellious. She disguised herself as a commoner to get away from her parents sometimes. But one day, we learned that she had been having a love affair with a handsome bull-shifter who was one of the gardeners. And she had gotten herself pregnant.”

Ero’s breaths became uneven. “That handsome bull-shifter was my dad, Mateo, right?”

Ana looked dejected, even tired. “No. It was your biological dad, Stefano. And he’s dead now.”

Continue to Chapter 6: Unwelcome Visitors. Or go back to the chapter guide.

You can also follow Anastasia the Nonbinary Dragon on Wattpad, Royal Road, and Tapas!

Originally published in Prism & Pen on Aug 2, 2022