Low-Paying Clients Are Not Asshole Clients
Stop mixing them up
It disturbs me to see this belief passed around like a viral meme:
“High-paying clients don’t make a fuss, value your work, and pay you what you’re worth. Low-paying clients are demanding, entitled, and pressure you to take as little money as possible.”
Look, I get that some people have been burned by low-paying clients who were douchebags.
But being poor and being a jerk are not the same thing.
I’m a psychotherapist in private practice, so I’m essentially a freelancer for counselling.
While I have a standard full fee, I also have a sliding scale for those who can’t afford it.
In my experience, my low fee clients have always been appreciative and respectful.
Low-Fee Clients Can Be Wonderful
My lowest fee client paying $40 CAD a session, has repeatedly expressed how helpful I was.
Since they don’t have much money, they only see me once a month.
They’re not in crisis, so monthly sessions are enough for them.
Lately, they became more financially strained. But they didn’t demand that I lower my fees. They just explained their situation and said they’ll have to take a break from therapy for a while.
But they made sure to emphasize that my services are valuable to them, and they are grateful for my help.
As another example, one client was paying $90 per session weekly. Recently, they got demoted at their job and had to rely on family to help them pay rent.
At one point, they told me they literally had $11 left in their bank account.
The client asked if they could possibly pay a lower fee for the time being.
Hmm, I wasn’t sure, because I was also in a financially tight spot, even though I felt for them. So I suggested switching from weekly to biweekly instead.
Since we had seen each other for over a year and had built a strong foundation of trust, I’d be willing to defer payment as well, so they could wait to pay me after getting their paycheck next week.
The client agreed to switch to biweekly, and deferred payment for one week. They didn’t try to push for more. And yes, they paid me on time.
In fact, they are one of my most punctual clients when it comes to payments. They almost always pay a few minutes after our session.
Plus, this client has always been considerate and appreciative. They may not have much money, but they are kind.
Another sliding scale client of mine, paid $80 per session. She could only afford 10 sessions at a time, because her school insurance covered $800 a year.
Despite her lack of funding, she never pushed me to reduce my fee. Even if that meant she could only see me 10 times a year.
And yes, after her insurance ran out, she emailed me again the following school year like she said she would, when her insurance renewed.
In fact, she’s one of my most enthusiastic clients. She always expressed that I was a great support, and this has been an amazing experience for her. She even referred a friend to see me.
So just because a client doesn’t have much money, doesn’t mean they will be demanding, entitled, or pressure you to lower your rate if you are unable to.
High-Paying Clients Can Be Terrible
On the flip side, higher paying clients aren’t always kind.
A professor back in my grad school training program, is a psychologist. She told me about this rich client who would toss her his money after the session, like she was so beneath his notice, and he was deigning to give her money.
On my end, I had some high-paying clients who weren’t jerks per se, but had unreasonable expectations.
One guy dropped out after our first session, because he thought it wasn’t challenging or fulfilling enough.
He had originally ghosted me for weeks, and only said something when I sent him a check-in email.
I wasn’t his first therapist, either, so it wasn’t like he was clueless about how therapy worked. To expect high challenge and satisfaction after just the first session, was unrealistic and demanding.
But at least he did reply to me. There were some other high-paying clients who just disappeared with no notice, no warning, and did not respond even to a follow-up email.
There were also some high paying clients who were unforgiving of human errors and accidents.
For one client, I messed up because I normally email in-person clients my phone number, asking them to text me when they were downstairs, since there was no intercom for my office building.
But I had forgotten to send this client my email.
My client was angry that they were locked out twice, since our sessions were always outside of regular hours. They panicked and searched up my phone number through their files, and called me to open the door.
At the time, I thought they just preferred to call rather than to text. The client never told me that they were locked outside.
Yes, that was my fault and I am sincerely sorry for the mess-up. I should have used an email template rather than relying on memory.
But the client had enough and was unwilling to forgive, even when I apologized and explained what happened.
I asked some colleagues about this, because I felt so distressed and hated letting people down. My colleagues told me that sometimes, mistakes happen.
You try your best but you’re human, and you could slip up like this. But most clients are usually understanding. Not this one, though.
This client also said that when they told me about their problems, I looked like I was pitying them, and they didn’t want my pity.
They added that I might have facial expression challenges. Apparently, they have a friend in social work who struggles with this too, so they wanted to pass on this information to help me.
Wow, I felt terrible. For context, I am autistic and don’t naturally have much facial expression.
But for the sake of my career, I learned how to use my facial muscles to convey empathy, like it’s a second language.
I’ve had many people, including a supervisor who hated me, praise me for having empathetic body language and facial expressions.
That doesn’t mean I’m the best in the field, and certainly I could improve.
But thinking back, it was rude of the client to tell me I probably have facial expression difficulties and could use some help.
So What’s the Verdict?
Now, I know people are people.
Not all high paying clients are difficult, and not all low paying clients are considerate.
I have some high paying clients who are very warmhearted and kind, and I’ve had a low paying client who just disappeared without notice.
But in general, I found my worst experiences were with high-paying clients, and some of my best experiences were with low-paying clients.
Of course, since I’m a therapist, my field may be different from yours.
But the bottom line is that it all comes down to the individual.
Some people, no matter how much money they can shell out, are unreasonable and demanding.
Some other people, no matter how little they make, are still respectful and compassionate towards your finances.
The issue isn’t about how much the client can pay. The issue is about human decency. Some people are understanding and thoughtful, and others are not, independent of how much money they earn.
Yes, I know that we need to make a living and can’t just rely on lower-paying clients.
But we don’t need to assume that low-fee clients are jerks, because their financial ability is unrelated to how they treat you as a human being.
What do you think? Do you also hate this assumption that low-paying clients must be asshole clients? Let me know in the comments!
