I Got an Inspiring Speech From a Dream
It was really unexpected
Have you ever gotten a heartfelt pep talk from a dream?
Some months ago, I dreamed about this fictional character from a visual novel. His name is Leo Kurosagi from Tokyo Debunker.
Leo is known as a right bastard. He’s vicious, manipulative, selfish, and full of jealousy. He gives the protagonist a hard time, and makes her lose faith in her abilities.
So, imagine my shock when I had a dream where he makes an inspiring speech to someone in need!
I did have this theory that despite his general meanness, Leo is more hostile towards authorities and powerful figures. He blackmails and extorts gross rich men for a living, too.
But I thought Leo would be sympathetic towards people who are vulnerable and have no power or authority over him.
The Dream Speech
In the dream that I had, a guy kept falling for corporate lies. He’s in showbiz, too, probably in script writing. Let’s call the guy Nate.
A hotshot in showbiz, Paul, promises to find Nate a new job opportunity. But it falls through, and Paul gives him nothing but crocodile tears, an apology, and a small sum of money.
Later, Nate attends a talk show. He hopes to get help in finding a new job. However, we as the audience know that the hosts are just feeding him more fake promises.
Then out of the blue, we spot a figure perched high up on a bird cage. It’s Leo Kurosagi from Tokyo Debunker!
In my dream, Leo is a notorious but established name in showbiz. He’s a rebel and feared by these corporate giants.
He gives an earnest, sombre speech, telling Nate not to fall for these assholes’ tricks. Leo tells him that there’s value in his own path, that he’s worth it.
Don’t let these corporate bosses make you think that you’re never good enough, never meeting their standards, because their standards are a lie.
Of course, the corporate giants didn’t like Leo’s speech. But they were powerless to stop him, as he’s too strong and elusive, and literally out of their reach.
Afterwards, I became Nate. I sat on the edge of my bathtub, sobbing. Leo’s speech moved me so much.
Yes, my path may be insignificant, but it’s a good path nevertheless. I do have value, even if it’s not considered impressive by corporate standards.
Screw those standards anyway. In real life, there is so much room for people of different paths to shine, to be amazing, accomplished, and successful.
Reaction to the Dream
Wow, first of all, I was smug that I got a dream that represented how I felt about Leo. I do believe that he’s protective towards the marginalized and the downtrod.
But other than that, his speech made me think deeply about the state of the world. And about my own situation.
I worry if I can ever achieve financial independence.
Yet, I know that I’m not alone. Many (maybe most) people in their 20s and early 30s have trouble coping with the high costs of living. I’m 34.
Even those of us who are fortunate enough to have a job, may not make enough to survive without family or government support.
Some folks worry about getting laid off or fired. I’m entirely self-employed, but I have to constantly find new clients, because even regular clients can pause or drop out at any time.
As entrepreneurs, we have to stress over our high business expenses, too. Yes, tax deductions help a lot, but the business fees are still heavy.
If you look at my gross income, it doesn't look that bad, especially since I only have a part time workload at the moment. But if you subtract my business expenses and taxes, you’ll see why I still need family support to survive.
Thus, whether we are unemployed, self-employed, traditionally employed, working part time or full time, most of us are struggling. Some people are financially secure, but they find their job boring, exhausting, or just soul-sucking.
There’s the rare group of people who: 1) do what they love, 2) are financially secure, and 3) don’t work ridiculously long hours where they sacrifice their health and relationships. But most of us are not in this lucky group.
Heck, some people even argue that you must sacrifice your health and relationships to achieve financial independence. I don’t believe that, but I can see why this is a common belief.
No One Gets Straight As in Life
Regardless, what’s clear is that we all have our own paths, with our different skillsets, emotional capacities, health statuses, relationships, etc.
It’s legit hard, if not impossible, to get an A+ in all arenas of life. Sometimes we have to settle for a B, even a C. We might have to deal with a D or an F.
A “failing grade” doesn’t mean we “failed at life,” though. It just means that it’s incredibly difficult to “have it all.”
Even back at school, I bet your grades weren't all the same across subjects. I can share mine.
While I got mostly As in subjects I enjoyed, such as English, science, and languages, I got mostly Cs in music and drama. I even got Ds in physical education. Design technology gave me some Cs and Ds, too.
But so what? I can literally fail at some things, but still pick myself up and do what I can with my skills and interests. Now I’m a psychotherapist and a writer. (So that hones into the science, English literature, and language strengths.)
I’m sure I’m not the only one with very different grades across various subjects.
Yes, using school grades is a crude measure of ability. But it does give you an idea of how we can be imperfect, even outright failing sometimes. Yet, despite the failures and disappointments, we can still come out alive and even thrive.
So why can’t we apply this to our adult lives? Maybe you don’t make enough money to live on your own yet, but you have a fantastic relationship with your partner.
Or you feel lonely and don’t have many friends, but you’re very devoted to your creative pursuits.
Or, you don’t have the best health or relationships, but you are financially secure, so you and your family don’t have to worry about food or rent.
Yes, there are the rare folks who seem to have it all: health, wealth, relationships, and creative fulfillment. But I’ve gotten to know some of these people, and I discovered that they still have problems in their life:
Joe has a great marriage and career, but his partner is increasingly agitated by his long work hours.
Sam has a flourishing business and supportive family, but has to slow down dramatically because of burnout.
Talia has great wealth, health, and relationships, but she’s caught up in some brutal workplace politics.
So, everyone struggles with something. Not saying that all suffering is equal. Just saying that no one literally has it all.
Also, even if we “suck” at something right now, doesn't mean we can't improve on it. We're not trapped forever.
If we are suffering in our relationships, it doesn't mean we can’t make them stronger, or find better relationships.
If we don't have a job, don’t like our job, or don't make enough money from our job, it doesn't mean our situation can't change, either.
So, on the one hand, we can make our situation better. On the other hand, we'll never get 100% on everything. And that’s okay.
Learning to Love Our Own Path
It helps to not to see our path as worse than other people’s (or better than other people’s, if we feel privileged or lucky).
But what would be even better is if we sincerely love or at least appreciate the path that we’re on. Mind you, I’ve only had this partially accomplished.
As an analogy, this is like thinking: "My kid isn’t that bad, I guess.” As opposed to: “My kid is awesome! They still have things to work on, but they’re still a great kid and I wouldn't want them to be anyone else.”
That sounds like a nirvana, in contrast to our world where the default is to compare yourself to others and always feel bad.
How do we implement this, though? For me, sometimes I feel compassion for my weaknesses, and can respect the path that I’m on. But other times, I look at other people and think I could be doing more.
Rationally, I know that we can’t do everything. Someone may see more clients than me, but I do more writing and reading than them.
Someone might be more accomplished than me in building an audience for their writing, but I have a greater peace of mind because my audience is still small and more manageable. I don’t get as flooded by messages and comments as they are.
Now, why don’t we think about what particular parts of our life we like? Since we spend too much time staring at what we don’t like.
Here are some of mine:
- I do a job I enjoy, being a psychotherapist.
- I write every day.
- I read every day.
- Lately, I’ve been writing roleplays in a fandom with some friends, which has been fun.
- I’m writing a fanfiction for my favorite fictional couple—Alan and Leo from Tokyo Debunker.
- I go to the gym twice a week.
- I spend a lot of time talking to friends about our shared interests. We nerd out together on Discord and Reddit especially.
- I have an adorable cat.
- People tend to like and respect me.
- I have a great support network of healthcare professionals and coaches.
So my life is not perfect, but there are some good things.
Some people may find me impressive, while some others may think I’m a loser. That's okay. This is just for myself. You cannot wow everyone, and in this case, the only person's opinion that matters is your own.
I can't say I “love” my life path yet, but I can appreciate some aspects, some of the time. Even if I need constant reminding.
Deeper Happiness vs Shallow Happiness
A crucial thing that people rarely talk about, is that there are two types of happiness.
There’s the fleeting, temporary type, called Hedonic Happiness. Such as the joy of eating ice cream, of achieving a high test score, or of landing the job you wanted.
Nothing wrong with this type, but it just doesn't last.
Then there’s the lasting, enduring type—Eudaimonic Happiness. We feel a deeper joy because our life feels meaningful and purposeful.
I don't always have that much Hedonic Happiness. I can easily get stressed, upset, or disappointed by life incidents.
But when it comes to Eudaimonic Happiness, I’m doing well. I am indeed doing things that give me purpose, meaning, and fulfillment. My therapy work, my writing, my fanfiction, my friendships and nerdy communities…
It’s so comforting to think about. My life is not perfect, and there’s so much I can work on. But I do have this core source of joy and meaning down.
My friend Pearl went down a different path, no less satisfying than mine. She got into copywriting, got married and had a daughter. She also writes fiction and poetry, plays violin, sews, makes jewelry, and plays softball with friends.
Pearl and I are friends from university and fellow English majors. (I double majored with psychology, and she double majored with sociology.) The paths we chose are completely different. But they’re both meaningful and fulfilling in their own ways.
Over to you
How about you? If you ever felt disheartened by your “lack of achievements,” what do you do to help yourself respect your own path? Regardless of what society tells you?
