Hurt and Secrets (Anastasia the Nonbinary Dragon)
Qing Shui’s smile tugged at her cheeks as her husband crossed the threshold after a week away.
Click here for the previous chapter. Or go to the chapter guide. You can also follow Anastasia the Nonbinary Dragon on Royal Road, Wattpad, or Tapas!
“Guards, report!” Qing Shui ordered. Her long black hair drifted in the afternoon breeze.
They heard the clacking on stone as her husband’s men marched back into the courtyard.
“Anastasia is no longer at the place where ze was yesterday,” announced one of Byron’s guards.
“What do you mean, Ana isn’t there anymore?” Ero the calf shifter shrieked and stamped his foot. He was in human form to safeguard against the unfamiliar dragons, but he wished he could shift back into a calf to express his frustration.
Ya Luo, in his dragon form, huffed. “Relax. I’m sure we’ll find your cousin soon.”
Ero glared at him. “You’re not lying, are you? I thought you promised that we’ll get to see zir today.”
“And we will,” Ya Luo said with a stubborn look on his little dragon face.
Qing Shui sighed and put a gentle hand on Ero’s shoulder. “I’m very sorry that this happened. But I swear we will do everything in our power to find zir.” She glanced at her son. “Ya Luo, why don’t you show Ero around the house while we wait for more news?”
The calf shifter was reluctant at first, but eventually gave in. They wouldn’t dare keep Ana away on purpose, would they?
Right now, the two boys strode down the marble halls. Their footsteps echoed with each thud.
Ero was moping and sullen, while Ya Luo sauntered beside him.
“Cheer up,” Ya Luo said with a flick of his dark tail. “No matter how bad things go, you’ll still have people with you.”
Ero quipped, “That’s easy for you to say, but you haven’t lost anybody. My mom’s gone and I have no idea where my dad is. And now Ana is missing too.”
The black dragon shifter was silent for a moment. “Actually, I lost my older brother. He died when I was very small.”
Ero halted in his steps. His eyes widened. “You have a brother?”
“Had a brother,” Ya Luo corrected him. “I was too young to remember much about him. Often I wonder how my life would have been different if he were still alive.”
Ero narrowed his eyes at his companion. “How come you don’t sound sad, then? He’s your brother!”
Ya Luo looked askance at him. He tipped his chin. “It’s hard to grieve for someone you never really got to know.”
The calf shifter fell silent and gazed around at the shining walls of gold and other finery. While most dragons liked to hoard treasure, Qing Shui and her spouse hoarded more than most. Not for the first time, Ero wondered why their mansion looked even shinier and more embellished than the palace.
Not that there was any palace remaining. His chest tightened. He wondered what had become of his dragon grandmother, Freya. He didn’t really like her, but he hoped she was okay.
Just when Ya Luo opened his mouth to start another topic, they heard a shout:
“Byron? Is that you?” It was Qing Shui. There was joy in her voice but also something else that Ero couldn’t name.
Qing Shui’s smile tugged at her cheeks as her husband crossed the threshold after a week away. Beside him walked a familiar small red dragon.
“Anastasia!” Qing Shui moved towards the future sovereign, brushing aside her feelings about her husband for now.
The young red dragon glanced up at her with a grim but polite smile. “Lady Qing Shui, isn’t it?”
“You remember me,” Qing Shui replied, delighted despite everything. She generally kept to herself compared to her more sociable husband. People often forgot her name, even if they recognized her face.
“Dad!”
“Ana!”
Ya Luo and Ero cried out in excitement. The latter dashed faster and threw himself at the red dragon. The calf shifter clung on tight to Anastasia, murmuring, “Ana, what happened? Where were you all this time? And how are your mothers and grandmother?”
Anastasia’s face softened at the arrival of zir cousin. “I was wandering around. My mothers are well. Our grandmother — I’m sorry, Ero. She’s gone.”
Qing Shui was alarmed. “Queen Freya is dead?” she exclaimed. Ana winced. In a softer voice, Qing Shui asked, “Then you are our sovereign now, is that right?”
The grimness returned to Anastasia’s face, but ze nodded. “I haven’t had a formal coronation yet, and our palace still lies in ruins. But yes, I’m officially the new ruler.”
Ana didn’t seem thrilled, even though ze had just been handed the power of the entire kingdom. Qing Shui supposed that nobody would be happy that their grandmother was dead.
But she was present when Freya pronounced Ana as her heir, and Qing Shui distinctly remembered that the red dragon had been reluctant.
Now Qing Shui studied the sovereign’s face. But Ana’s steely eyes gave nothing away.
“Are you all right, Ana?” Ero asked. “I can’t believe Grandma Freya didn’t make it…”
The red dragon sighed and zir wings seemed to deflate. “I can’t believe it either. She was gravely ill, but I thought we would have more time. And now she’s not with us anymore.”
They were silent for a while before Ero piped up again. “Ana, since you’re the ruler now, you can announce reforms to make all species equal!”
Qing Shui glanced left and right, and briefly at her husband. His face was pinched. She whispered, “Ero, I know you’re very happy that Ana is here, and I am too. But be careful of what you say. I wouldn’t talk loudly about making these big reforms when other people can hear you.”
But the calf shifter was mulish. He put his hands on his hips and lifted his chin. “So what if other people can hear? Ana is the ruler and they need to do what ze says.”
The sovereign’s red scales glinted under the light as ze said, “Yes, that’s true, but you never know what people do secretly behind my back.”
Qing Shui wondered if Ana was talking about anybody in particular.
“Have you seen Revi?” Ero inquired with a frown.
Anastasia suddenly looked even more troubled. Ze gave Byron a meaningful stare. “Yes, but he can’t join us right now.”
The relief on Ero’s face was palpable. “What was he doing, after he pulled his earthquake scheme? Did he try to hurt you?” The calf shifter’s eyes flashed.
“He didn’t,” Ana replied without missing a beat, which made Qing Shui curious. The sovereign twirled the tip of zir tail. “I don’t agree with his actions surrounding the earthquake. But he has been helping me otherwise.”
“Okay, but where is he now?” Ero prodded.
Again, Anastasia glanced at Byron. “Revi is currently a guest at Byron’s house. Byron’s other house, I mean.”
Qing Shui grimaced. She knew exactly what that meant. Tension simmered in her chest, and she couldn’t resist saying, “Byron, let our sovereign, Ero, and Ya Luo talk for a while. I want to talk with you. Alone.”
She didn’t wait for her husband to reply before she spun around and walked away.
Qing Shui was gratified when she heard her husband’s footsteps behind her. Byron had special, fashionable shoes that made a recognizable clicking sound. Too bad she couldn’t hear it more often these days.
“Could you at least look at me?” Byron asked with a hint of irritation.
Qing Shui smirked. She stubbornly stared ahead as she marched through the halls. “You’ll see my face later. You waited this long to come home. I’m sure you can wait a few minutes more.”
Byron groaned. “But I already told you…”
The Lady of the House shushed her husband. “Please, hold it in till we get inside.”
They didn’t speak again until they reached their master bedroom. As Qing Shui pushed open the door, she glanced at the king sized bed, so sumptuous and lavish. Way too big for one person to sleep in.
She pulled up a cushioned chair and sat with her back to the bed. Her husband pulled up another chair and sat at a distance from her. Byron mopped his brow dramatically. “How many times do I have to say I’m sorry?”
Qing Shui made no effort to hide her exasperation. Though Byron was her spouse and beloved, her body was tense all over. “You have the freedom to go anywhere you want, and spend time with anyone you want. But why does it have to be with Bei Feng?”
“But you already know why…” Byron began.
Qing Shui shook her head and furrowed her brows. “Yes, yes, Lord Clementine has a hold over her, which you still won’t tell me about, even though I’m your wife. I understand that you want to protect your friend’s privacy, and normally I wouldn’t pry. But you can’t blame me for feeling uneasy that you have to spend so much time with her rather than with me. Even if I believe you, the other nobles will talk. Actually, they already do talk. And Ya Luo’s old enough to understand that something’s wrong.”
“And do you believe me?” Byron’s voice was just a whisper.
Qing Shui did not meet her husband’s eyes. “I never took myself for the jealous type, but it is hard for me when I hear people spread rumors about you and her.”
“Rumors are just rumors, darling. They don’t mean anything when it comes to the truth,” Byron said and reached out to take her hand.
She considered withdrawing from him, but decided at the last moment to relent and let him hold her hand. She noticed that her fingers were a lot colder than his. Qing Shui said in an even tone, “Honestly, I don’t know what the truth is right now. You say you love me, but you spend the vast majority of your time elsewhere, as if it’s painful to be anywhere near me.”
She didn’t feel guilty at her husband’s vulnerable look. “You know that’s not true,” he said. “Bei Feng and I have never had the kind of relationship that I have with you. I enjoy her company, yes, but only as a friend, nothing romantic.”
“I wouldn’t know,” Qing Shui replied tightly. “Maybe I’m boring to you now. Maybe I’m too serious and make you feel like you’ve lost your freedom since you married me.” She pried her hand out of her husband’s, and to her relief, he didn’t resist.
Byron brushed a hand through his thick hair. His eyes were mournful, but Qing Shui knew her husband was a good actor. “I really don’t know how to prove it to you. She and I have never done anything that crossed the line, nor do we have any wish to do so. And damn, Qing Shui, why all these insecurities? No, you’re not boring or too serious. And my life is still my own. You haven’t taken away my freedom. Nobody can.”
“Then why not spend more time at home? Prove your loyalty and devotion to your wife and son rather than to your childhood buddy,” Qing Shui said, gripping her fists.
“Honey, we’ve gone over this point so many times before. I would love to spend more time with you and Ya Luo, but — Bei Feng needs me. Nobody else knows her secret, and no one else can help her.” Byron’s tone was pleading.
Qing Shui shook her head more vigorously. “Sometimes I wonder if you made up that story about Lord Clementine as an excuse to always be with Bei Feng.” When Byron opened his mouth to protest, she hurried to say, “But those are just idle thoughts. I don’t think even you would dare make up a story about Clementine, out of all people.” Clementine was a powerful lord who outranked most nobles, including Qing Shui and her husband. No one would be foolish enough to make up lies about him.
Byron grimaced. “I certainly wouldn’t.” His gaze shifted. Then he leaned closer to his wife. “I will tell you something, though, and I want your help.”
Qing Shui blinked. As angry as she was, she couldn’t help but be curious. “What is it?”
Byron paused as if for dramatic effect. “Bei Feng has Clementine’s son, Revi, with her right now. She promised not to harm him — but I don’t believe her.” Byron’s eyes bore into his wife’s. “Sweetheart, please help me. I don’t know what to do.”
Qing Shui felt like the air had been sucked out of her lungs. Her chest clenched. Was this one of her husband’s ploys to placate her, or was he telling the truth?
