Gay Men Can Love Straight Porn, Too
Why should we be limited by our sexual orientation?
Six years ago, a bisexual friend declared, “I used to watch straight porn, but now, I hate it. It’s so boring. So I only watch gay porn.”
I laughed with them at the time, but I felt guilt in my stomach.
There was a short time when I was intrigued by gay porn, but I soon felt disappointed, bored, and realised that I found straight porn more exciting. I didn’t want to tell anyone, because it felt like a betrayal of my fellow gays. (I’m a gay trans person.)
Transphobes may argue that I’m just a straight woman, hence why I connect more with the women in hetero porn than with the men in gay ones.
Perhaps I had some internalized transphobia, where a part of me still believed I was a girl. Yet, I had heard of cis gay men imagining themselves as the woman in a straight romance, so couldn’t they do the same in porn scenes?
A little-known truth about sexual orientation, is that it’s much more nuanced than most people think. It’s not until you dig deeper into it that you discover just how rich and varied our desires can be.
The first person I ever confessed my shameful secret to, was a friend I met on Grindr, a popular dating app for queer men. When I told him about my attraction to heterosexual porn, he was totally unfazed.
“Yep, that makes sense,” he replied. “With straight porn, the industry had many more years to perfect their videography. And straight porn reflects the oppression dynamics in our society.”
It was such a relief to hear calm acceptance from someone more knowledgeable than me on porn and sex. I also felt much better when I heard his rationale for why straight porn could appeal to me more, even though I’m gay.
More Confessions
Some time ago, a gay friend wrote a blog post, where he disclosed some interesting things about himself. One was that he actually enjoyed straight porn more than gay porn, even though he wasn’t interested in women sexually.
I was amazed, and impulsively, I chimed in, “You’re not alone. I think for us, gay is familiar and vanilla, and straight is edgy and forbidden. After all, we’re attracted to the forbidden, right?”
My friend was pleasantly surprised by my announcement.
In fact, I even read this article (I don’t recall the title), where a lesbian confessed that she was turned on by straight porn, and even enjoyed watching dick action.
At this point, I bet many of you are scandalized. Some of you might think we’re just freaks or “fake gays.”
Regardless, I decided to seek out more evidence for this interesting phenomenon.
My Unexpected Finds
To start off, I searched Google Scholar for research articles. But I couldn’t find anything about gay people enjoying straight porn. All I found were more commonly known topics, such as straight men watching gay porn, straight women loving man-on-man action, and just gay porn in general.
I had to wonder if the vast majority of research on porn was through a heterosexual lens.
But I was undeterred, and directly Googled websites rather than research papers.
It astounded me how much more fruitful this informal search was. For one, I found this interview with the creator of “Straight Guys for Gay Eyes.” This is a film series of straight porn for gay men.
The creator, Jake Cruise, got a ton of hate mail from people who accused him of debasing gay men. But Jake knows there is a subset of gay men who are aroused by straight porn, including himself, and he doesn’t believe in shaming people for what they like.
Cruise then explains the difference between straight porn made for straight men versus those made for gay men. For straight male viewers, the camera focus is on the woman’s face and her enjoyment, but for gay male viewers, the camera is on the guy’s face and his pleasure.
I was worried here, because I’m actually more turned on when they focus on the woman. I have also heard that many straight women are turned on by sexual images of women, so maybe I was having the same experience.
Intriguing Dives into Reddit
Some of the Google searches led me to Reddit threads, where I found an abundance of stories from gay men. I’ll summarize three of the threads below.
“Is It Normal to Like Straight Porn”?
A guy asked the above question in the AskGayMen forum. He frankly found straight porn better in both quality and quantity, which I sadly agree with.
A number of commenters resonated with this, and even those who couldn’t relate, were open-minded and accepting.
For some commenters, they specified that in straight porn, the guy had to be hot. Or else they would lose interest.
For me, I don’t care that much about how the “top/ dominant” partner looks — the man is usually the top in hetero porn. But I have an unusual kink that I call “Beauty and the Beast.” I love it when the top is “ugly” while the bottom is gorgeous. The outrageousness of such a pair, makes it hot for me.
One Redditor asked this thoughtful question: if the camera pauses, and you only see a vagina with no dick, would you still want to watch?
Admittedly, I am disappointed if I don’t see a dick. So it annoys me when censored films block out penises but not breasts. I’d much rather they censor the breasts and leave the dick alone. As for the sight of vaginas, sometimes I’m turned on, sometimes I’m neutral, and other times, I’m repulsed (I’m sorry).
Interestingly, one guy on the thread said that gay porn bores him because it’s so normal. Wow, it’s wonderful to hear this, as I deeply relate. In both written stories and videos, I find gay sex scenes to be so vanilla and ordinary, that I’m bored and need something more exciting and new. Maybe a more thrilling plotline, higher plot stakes, new sex positions — or just straight porn.
Another Redditor stated bluntly on the AskGayBros forum:
“I’m Gay But I’m Turned On By Straight Porn”
In the comments, it’s eye-opening to see that not only do some gay guys prefer watching straight porn, some of them exclusively watch straight porn!
One guy said he’s into light bondage, but the gay bondage videos aren’t to his taste or are too hardcore for him, so he prefers straight bondage videos.
Another commenter liked to imagine himself as the girl, especially if the dude is a hot muscle guy. I strongly relate to this as well. It was gratifying to see even cis gay men put themselves into the woman’s perspective in porn.
Often, when I watch porn or read erotica in a straight scene, I would be jealous of the girl. I wish I could take her place, because it looks like she’s having so much fun! I wish the guy would bang me instead.
“I’m a Gay Man Who Watches Straight Porn…Is This Normal?”
A worried Redditor wrote the above question. He asked facetiously if he’s “gay in real life, straight in porn life.” I often wonder that as well, so it’s great to know I’m not the only one. In real life, I would only want to sleep with men. But in porn videos (and erotica), I’m turned on by the sight of gorgeous women enjoying sex. It’s like having vicarious pleasure.
A commenter brought up that straight people can enjoy gay porn, so why can’t the reverse be true? Indeed. As I said earlier, I found research studies on heterosexual viewers loving gay porn, but none on the reverse.
If straight people can watch gay videos for the novelty, the taboo, or another reason, then I don’t see why gay people can’t feel the same towards straight porn. We don’t have to stick to porn that reflects our sexual orientation.
Hilariously, one commenter said that we’re turned on by the sight of naked women, because we expect to see a hunk with a big dick come on stage soon. Just like straight guys could be turned on by big dicks, because they expect a hot woman to come and get railed soon.
That’s an interesting theory. I’m not sure and will need more time to digest this.
Here’s another funny but probably serious comment:
“The straight guys in straight porn are hotter than the straight guys in gay porn.
Maybe because they actually are enjoying what they’re doing.”
This is a jibe at the “gay for pay” phenomenon, where straight male actors have sex with men for money.
In response, one guy asked whether we gays are so low in number, that film directors can only find straight men to star in gay porn.
That is pretty hilarious. Maybe I would enjoy it more too if the guys actually liked it and were attracted to each other.
But Why Should We Care?
You might be wondering, “So what?” We now know that some gay dudes love watching straight porn, for various reasons. What we watch doesn’t reflect what we want to do in real life. But what’s the deeper significance of this phenomenon?
Well, for one, my preference for straight porn is unlikely to be my internalized transphobia, where I may still see myself as a woman. Some cis gay men also imagine themselves as the woman, and wish that the guy could bone them instead.
Furthermore, it’s bizarre how there’s much more talk about straight people watching gay porn, as opposed to the reverse. I’ve even heard of a joke where a homophobic straight guy got caught watching lesbian porn.
There’s also much fuss about straight women fetishising gay men. I recall some gay men in the comments section of a porn video, telling the women to stop watching gay porn, because it’s disrespectful and demeaning.
But if we assume that many straight people who love gay porn, simply enjoy it without any homophobia or fetishism, then we could accept it as a normal human fantasy. Perhaps it’s thrilling because it’s foreign and thus “forbidden.”
In contrast, it’s so odd how little I’ve heard about gay guys liking straight porn. My friend I mentioned earlier, was the only person I know who has spoken about this out loud. (At least in my presence.)
Yes, I was glad to see guys post about these desires on Reddit, and that there’s even a film series for gay men who love straight porn. Yet, this is still such a little-known, rarely-discussed phenomenon. Maybe some guys, like me, are worried that we would be seen as “traitors” to other gay people. Thus, few of us dare to talk openly about it.
It’s also possible that for some of us, we hate heteronormativity so much, that our hatred turned into sexual arousal. We’re drawn to what we hate, aren’t we?
Deeper Questions for the Future
I want to know more about the differences among gay men who like straight porn better. For instance, while many gay guys want the man in the hetero scene to be hot, I don’t mind how he looks, since I don’t care much about the “top” and only care about the “bottom.”
Is this because of my Beauty and the Beast kink, where I like watching ugly tops fuck pretty bottoms, or is it because of some other reason? I want to learn about other folks who care more about the bottom’s looks than the top’s.
Moreover, it fascinates me that even for cis people, they can enjoy putting themselves in the perspective of the opposite gender. Not just in fiction, but in porn as well.
Also, I hate to ask the uncomfortable question, but are there any differences in tastes between cis gay men and trans gay men who like straight porn? And does our comfort with our body, or the extent to which we have medically transitioned (according to our personal goals), have any effect on our porn preferences?
Finally, as a fun challenge to any interested readers: What can we do to make gay porn more appealing to those of us who find it too boring and normal? I named a few ideas: More creative plotlines, higher plot stakes, more variety in sexual dynamics, etc. What else can you think of? And do you have any more thoughts on gay men who love straight porn?
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Originally published in Sexography on July 9, 2023
