Flipping Off the Asshole
He threatened to do something “unthinkable” if you don’t meet up with him.
This is part of a Choose Your Own Adventure story, ‘Vacation Roulette.’ Go back to the first chapter. Or return to the previous chapter. Check out the chapter guide here.
You burn with fury at his audacity.
Who the fuck does Valli think he is? He threatened to do something “unthinkable” if you don’t agree to meet up with him. Valli claims to be an ex, though it was purely a sexual relationship, not a romantic one.
He’s either a scammer after a lot of money, which you don’t have much of anyway, or he’s a lunatic who gets off on terrorizing people.
You roll your eyes. Either way, you won’t let this dickhead intimidate you. Immediately, you dial your partner to tell them what happened.
Your partner curses on the phone. “Valli’s right presumptuous. And thanks for telling me before acting.”
With a snort, you say, “I’m not that hot-headed that I would respond to him before talking to you first.”
There’s a silence before your partner says, “Come home, please. I’d rather not have you be out so late at night, not when this crazy man could be lurking anywhere.”
“I’m sure he’s just bluffing,” you reply with some annoyance. “And I do know how to fight. I’m not defenseless.”
“I know you’re not defenseless,” your partner cajoles, sounding a bit guilty. “Sorry, I’m just worried. This Valli is clearly unhinged.”
“That we can agree on.”
You keep your partner on the line for safety as you make your way back home.
On the dark streets, you feel watched, but you’re probably just creeped out.
It’s close to midnight when you cuddle against your partner on the couch, watching late night TV together.
Normally you wouldn’t stay up this late, but you asked them to, because you can’t sleep and don’t want to be surrounded by complete darkness so soon when you go to bed.
“So…are you going to reply to him?” your partner pipes up. Their voice sounds nonchalant but you know they’re concerned.
You smirk. “I’ll give him a big fat NO. Should have done that a while ago, but I was distracted.” You wink at your partner, and they give you an amused snort.
So you type out to Valli:
Hey, snot face. My answer is NO. Think twice before wasting our time with your harassments, you bag of scum.
In a fit of bravado, you show your partner what you wrote. Your significant other lifts their brow. “Wow. That might be a little harsh but okay.”
“He was rude and threatening to us first,” you protest.
Your partner raises their hands in a conciliatory gesture. “Yes, I know and agree.” They frown. “I wonder what they’ll do.”
“Pfft. Nothing except scream and whine, I bet. And maybe bombarding me with unwelcome dick pics.”
Your partner laughs. “Guess you can block him after, then.”
“I’m planning to do just that,” you say. You lean back against the couch and stretch your legs. “All right, let’s go to bed. This asshole has taken up enough of our attention for one day.”
Your partner shrugs. “If you say so.”
You furrow your brows, not liking your partner’s casual attitude. But maybe you’re getting too worked up over this Valli. Whatever. “That guy can burn in hell!” you exclaim.
Even by the time you and your partner go to bed, Valli still hasn’t answered. It’s faintly ominous. But you’re determined not to let him ruin your peace.
By the time you fall asleep, he still hasn’t texted back.
In the middle of the night, you wake up when you smell a strange odour. Is that…gasoline?
Panicked, you shake your partner awake. They grumble and glare at you.
“We have to get out of here right now!” you virtually holler at them. “I think someone might be an arsonist.”
Your partner’s eyes widen and they sniff the air. Fear fills their gaze.
In a few seconds, you and your partner scurry out of your house with a minimum number of belongings.
You scream when you see the fire blazing in front of the house. Your partner is rooted to the spot, their face paralyzed with terror.
Quickly, you fish out your phone to dial 911, so you might have a chance. But before you can tap out any numbers, you see a pop up text from Valli:
Looks like you and your partner are the ones who will burn in hell. ;)
Love, V
The fire has totally surrounded the house, and there’s no way to escape unless you run through the flames and hope to stay alive.
Cursing, you pull your partner back into the house, all the while you dial 911. When they pick up, you bark out your address, and pray that they arrive soon.
Normally, you’d want to grab a hose to extinguish the fire. But you remember just in time that water will only exacerbate a gasoline fire. “Where is the fire extinguisher?” you mutter, spinning around in a panic. You vaguely remember that you have a special extinguisher that uses dry powder rather than water.
Your partner is still frozen, staring out at the growing flames in horror.
After a while, you finally find the extinguisher in the storage room. Why the heck did you put it there?
Before the ambulance even arrives, you brandish the fire extinguisher to put out as much of the flames as possible.
By the time the ambulance and firefighters arrive, you’re almost done, though the fire has destroyed your garden and eroded away part of your house.
You and your partner survived, for now.
The two of you move to live somewhere far away, hoping to avoid Valli, whose number you’ve blocked now.
But he still manages to get to you through a burner phone. When you change your number, he somehow figures it out anyway. He keeps sending you sexually provocative or plain rude messages.
From time to time, he terrorizes you with something. Not fires this time but miscellaneous other things.
Such as having a bunch of thugs jump you or your partner. Sending a rabid dog your way. Smudging your house with large globs of slime.
Or putting a frightened skunk right outside your door, so that it panic-sprays your face when you come out.
These things aren’t life-threatening, but they do make you miserable and angry.
It’s time to do something about it.
