Dare to Be the Happy Tortoise in the Mad Race of Life
Some of us naturally move slower and that’s okay
Do you always feel rushed? It’s like if you don’t move fast enough, you’ll fall behind everyone else.
And if you’re too slow, people might think you’re dumb, incompetent, or worse.
But what if you prefer to move slowly?
Some of us are naturally tortoises in the race, but we feel so much pressure to run like hares.
We could be perfectionists and our high standards can be paralyzing. But depending on our goals, it’s okay, even good, to slow down and be more meticulous in our work.
I’m not saying that our friends who dash like hares do “sloppy work.” But they’re able to say, “That’s good enough,” and move on to the next task.
They remind me of my best friend in high school, Nadine, who was a straight A+ student. She was amazingly efficient and would never do more work beyond what she needed for an A+.
I could understand that. Why bother pushing past the highest possible grade?
Yet, some of us do want to go the extra mile, because we’re passionate about the project and want to make it as fabulous as it can be by the deadline.
Needing to spend more time on our project doesn’t mean we’re stupid or ineffective, though. We just have a different but completely valid work style. Slow can be just as good, if not even better, than fast.
The trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit.
– Moliere
Being a Tortoise Is Legit
Yes, we might miss learning opportunities if we take too long to research the topic, seek advice, or plan, because some things can only be learned by doing.
However, we can still catch up with our peers later. We may move slower, but we’re persistent and will make it to the finish line.
For me, I dawdled so much in 2021 when I wanted to try freelance writing. While I took writing courses and read articles on the trade, I hardly did anything. I only wrote one sample article for a content mill, hated it, and then abandoned the content mill.
A few months later, I finally summoned the courage to submit a guest post to LovePanky (a website on love and relationships), but they never replied. Then I published an article on TvTropes, where I broke down the tropes for a beloved gay romance novel.
For a writing course assignment, I sent a pitch to Psychology Today magazine. My teacher and classmates seemed impressed by my pitch, but sadly, the editor rejected it.
In 2022, I dove into Medium and have been blogging regularly for over a year. I networked extensively with other writers, too. Now I have 1000+ followers, write for numerous publications, and became an editor of a few pubs.
I learned a massive amount from these blogging and networking experiences. And it’s notable that though it took me months to take real action, I still caught up with my peers in building an audience and getting into the thick of blogging!
Yes, I am nowhere near a master. And on Medium, it’s not that hard to gain a thousand followers, as long as you publish consistently and engage with a wide network of people.
Nevertheless, I’m not aiming to become a mega influencer. I just want to build my readership and enhance my writing skills. A gradual, steady growth can be more fulfilling than a faster, more sudden growth.
Don’t be afraid of taking the slow lane in life. It brings more happiness.”
― Jennifer West
Would Tortoises Still Lose Out, Though?
You might argue that I’ll still gain less than my peers overall, because they move faster, get more done, and thus learn a larger body of knowledge in their lifetime than I would.
But first of all, do we even need to be so competitive? To fiercely outperform everyone around us?
Secondly, even if we technically learned less in our lifetime, does that mean the quality of our work is shoddier than our faster-moving peers?
Not at all! From what I’ve seen so far, people tend to respect my work, and have given me some great compliments. I even won second place in a contest.
Moreover, I’m quite knowledgeable, since I gather a lot of information not just from what I read, but also from what I hear in my social groups.
At times, I was aghast when a more experienced blogger than me hadn’t heard of some information that I had known for a while. One writer had never heard of alt text. Another had no clue how to add a kicker. Yet another did not know that some countries were excluded from the Medium Partnership Program.
That isn’t to say that I know everything, of course. A friend recently taught me how to change the focal point of a display photo. But in general, I’m fairly well informed in the things I’m interested in — the Medium blogosphere, in this case.
At the end of the day, we just have different learning styles. Some of us want more time to reflect and edit. We want to polish our work to the best of our ability.
As long as we meet our personal goals of how fast we want to move, then we’re fine. Just be sure that these are your own goals, rather than other people’s expectations.
…you must always be yourself, and do things at your own pace. Someday, you’ll catch up.
― Natsuki Takaya
A Relaxed But Steady Publishing Speed
I aim to publish about twice a week on Medium, with occasional erotica on my other account.
Some people may think posting two times a week is too fast, though. Some prefer once a week, a few times a month, once a month, several times a year, once a year, etc.
In contrast, some people think publishing twice a week is sluggish. So they publish three, four, or more times a week. Others post daily, or even several times a day!
It depends on their personal goals and preferences. Research-heavy stories also take longer to write than stories that don’t require research. And not everyone wants to focus so much on Medium.
We also have a life outside of blogging, like our friendships, family, work, and other creative projects. There’s no right or wrong speed of publishing. Just remember that moving fast doesn’t always build you a great life.
Slow down in your pursuit of happiness and it’s more likely to catch up with you.
— Ernie J Zelinski
My Slow Climb to Becoming a Psychotherapist
It took me an awfully long time to start work as a therapist, too. Since graduating from my counseling program in 2019, I was paralyzed by my job search phobia for years, not to mention some other health conditions plus two major gender-affirming surgeries (I’m transgender).
In Sept 2021 or so, I discovered a way out. I could go into private practice, i.e. self-employment, so I could work as a therapist without applying to jobs.
It took me a whole year to launch my private practice, and another month before I saw my first client. So that’s a total of 3 years post-grad.
In contrast, many, if not most, of my classmates found a job in just a few months after graduation!
Still, I arrived on the golden shore, and I love my work very much. And I daresay my clients seem happy with me.
Just the other day, a client told me they feel much better now, and switched from weekly to biweekly sessions. In fact, I often see clients make dramatic life changes, even after just a few sessions. So I must be doing something right!
Never rush to be the first. Slow down and be your best. Life is not a race. It’s a playground to radiate your uniqueness.
― Hiral Nagda
The Comfort Zone Matters
If something is outside of my comfort zone, of course I would move more slowly.
No doubt some people may move out of their comfort zone faster, though it also depends on how much discomfort they feel in the first place.
Someone might be quick to start new business ventures, but slow to seek therapy, for instance. Facing deep feelings rather than suppressing them, can be scary for them.
As a therapist, I feel at home when dealing with emotions. But business ventures are not in my comfort zone.
Regardless, even when I’m slow, I will get there eventually, like I did with my private practice. I don’t need to be speedy.
Slow down, you’re doing fine, you can’t be everything you wanna be before your time.
— Billy Joel
Final Thoughts
Outside of work, school, and other obligations, why do we have to hurry and scurry? Some of us naturally like to move slowly, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean we’re stupid or incompetent.
In fact, many of us are respected for the high quality of our work. Being thorough and prepared are important qualities, too.
Related to this, I often see myself as a Type A person aspiring to become a Type B. Type As are intensely focused on goals and try to get as much done and accomplished as possible. Type Bs prefer to relax and enjoy life; they feel okay taking their time in moving towards their goals.
What if I’m naturally a Type B, but I twisted myself into a Type A because that’s what my society approves of?
In any case, I’m happy to announce that I’m gradually getting back to my original self.
How about you? Do you naturally move slowly as well? If so, do you want to take your time on your work, and not succumb to the social pressure of rushing everything?
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Originally published in Change Your Mind, Change Your Life on April 14, 2023