Are you tired of the in-fighting that happens in the LGBTQ+ community?

We’re on the same side, yet you see so many people form groups and attack each other. Often as a result of much black-and-white thinking, misreading online messages, and such eagerness to jump to conclusions about someone’s character.

Accountability and call outs are important. But false accusations can happen, distorted by easy misunderstandings on the internet, fueled by rage and social media pile-ons. Very sad.

The inciting incident was this:

Devon Price is a gay trans autistic psychologist. He’s the bestselling author of Laziness Does Not Exist and Unmasking Autism. Devon is also one of my favorite writers.

Text from the Tweet above: Original poster says: “I’m stunned to see this baffling anti-trans take from author of Unmasking Autism @drdevonprice

It’s possible to critique the gender binary w/o saying inflammatory shit to reinforce the gender binary

1 K of my moots follow him

Enraged & heartbroken. I referenced his book often.”

Quoted Tweet from Typer Durden (aka Dr Devon Price):

“I’ve said before that afab-identified people are the cis men of trans people…and what do you know, i didn’t get anywhere near as vociferous and negative a reaction. wonder why.”

Devon Price’s Tweet mentioned that afab (assigned-female-at-birth)-identified folks are the “cis men of trans people.” The original poster, who is a cisgender autistic woman, was furious. She felt betrayed, as she had loved his book, Unmasking Autism.

A ton of people continued the rant on this thread. Some were confused. One person screenshotted the original thread where Devon’s Tweet came from, but people were still confused or angry.

I was sick of this whole mess, so I typed up my clarification and defence of Devon. Many people liked my explanations, and some even retweeted it. One screenshotted my answer and thanked me.

Text: Commenter says: “This post really explained what @drdevonprice meant, I appreciate @LaneSieran for taking the time to help clarify”

Quoted Sieran Lane as saying the following: “I think what he’s saying, is that just because we were assigned female at birth, doesn’t mean we should talk over trans women or assume we know better than transfemme folks about being female. And yes, Devon is trans (I’m transmasc nonbinary myself.)”

Text: Sieran Lane says: “In other words, he’s not attacking transmasc folks. He’s just asking us to be aware of our privilege, and not be dismissive of trans women’s experiences just because we were assigned female at birth. That Tweet is confusing when taken in isolation, though. Context matters!”

The OP (original poster) then wrote an apology post, and Devon thanked her for it.

But later, some others popped up and accused Devon of being transphobic, racist, and misogynistic.

Text: Original poster says: “To @drdevonprice and those whom I’ve negatively affected, I sincerely apologize for my actions.

I greatly appreciate those who informed me of the important context I was missing. I have much work to…”

(The original poster attaches two screenshots of her more detailed apology.)

Typer Durden (aka Dr Devon Price) replies: “Thank you, I really appreciate you acknowledging what happened and the criticisms.”

Commenter in teal says: “Not really seeing why you’re the one who has to apologize, to be honest. Also not understanding what harm could have been caused.”

Commenter in lemon yellow: “I’ve not commented on this drama till now, but I don’t think you did anything wrong. Devon (despite being trans) was still horribly transphobic and has said some pretty shitty things. And I’m saying that as a trans person…”

Commenter in red: “This is what I love about you, [the original poster who apologized]. You are fierce in support of what you believe but you are open to learning and growing, in spite of your own challenges. You are a true model

*I have no opinion on the issue at hand b/c I don’t know enough.* ”

Commenter in mustard yellow: “I appreciate you wanting to take responsibility but honestly, as a trans man, that whole post screamed transphobia to me, even after I read the follow up. And no matter if someone identifies themselves as “afab” or not, calling them the “cis men of trans people” is just…ew.”

Text: Commenter in purple says (note: these are different people from the commenters in the previous screenshot): “He has been very unpleasant to me, I enjoyed his books, but my interactions with his fans has been very negative.”

Commenter in red: “I’d still like to know what that tweet even means. If it’s not transphobic, it still sounds like a pointless jab of misogyny.”

Commenter in teal: “They don’t deserve your respect, they’re transphobic and what they said was transphobic. Them being trans does not preclude them from that.”

Commenter in mustard yellow: “He’s a transphobe & a racist.”

Text: Commenter in red says: “Unfortunately this isn’t the first time he’s said this shit. He’s said a LOT of antitransmasc shit. You were right and he doesn’t deserve respect imo”

Commenter in teal: “If it helps for context he is trans but he repeatedly says transphobic and transmed things and what he said was absolutely transphobic. It wasn’t the first time and it won’t be the last. While that may not have been OPs place to say a lot of trans mascs have seen this crap.” (Note: OP is a cis woman, hence the statement that it was not her place to comment on a trans issue.)

Commenter in mustard yellow: “ ‘afab-identified people are the cis men of trans people’

You guys are making Trump voters feel vindicated, because you act like their negative stereotype of “Leftists”.

Most of “the Left” is nothing like the Fox News stereotype, but you guys really are.”

All of these claims are ridiculous.

I read both of Devon’s books, many of his articles, as well as a lot of his tweets. So I have a clear idea of his political stances. I don’t want to start a fight on Twitter, where it can be wild. Yet, I don’t want to say nothing, so I wrote this blog post instead.

He bravely writes about unconventional viewpoints, digs into nuances, caveats, and complexities. Many people believe he’s being a traitor, because they can’t get rid of the attitude that “you’re either for us or against us.” They’re so stuck in thinking in terms of tribes, that they can’t see what he’s actually saying.

Admittedly, I wouldn’t use the cis men analogy, because of the misunderstandings it would cause. But I see what he’s getting at.

In social justice discourse, cis men are considered the most powerful and privileged gender category. Devon calling afab-identified people “the cis men of trans people,” is about seeing them as the most privileged gender group among trans people.

He was reacting to trans men and afab nonbinary people who are condescending towards trans women, as if being assigned female at birth, gives them some special authority and that trans women can’t possibly understand “real” womanhood like they do.

So Devon was trying to defend trans women. But people on the internet believed he was attacking trans men and nonbinary people!

Now I’ll counter the claims point by point.

Transphobia

Some believe Devon is against trans men, which is absurd. He explicitly said in past Tweets that he hates how some trans men self-flagellate, as if being male is such a shameful thing.

Devon added that it’s ridiculous how we put in the time and effort to transition, only to despise ourselves afterward. In contrast, he is glad that he had always found guys cool.

In a more recent incident, I saw him replying to someone else’s tweet. This person talked about transmisandry, which is discrimination against transmasculine folks specifically. (Transmasculine includes trans men as well as nonbinary people on the masculine gender spectrum.) Devon argued that there’s no such thing as transmisandry, that it’s just transphobia.

His stance could be why some people got upset. Devon was referring to the concept of misandry, which means hatred towards men. He argued that men are not oppressed.

Misandry is a debatable concept. I think such an attitude towards men does exist, but that doesn’t mean men are “oppressed,” at least not as defined in most social justice discourse.

Personally, I have mixed feelings towards the word misandry. But it’s a bizarre stretch to say that just because Devon doesn’t believe trans-misandry exists (because he doesn’t think misandry is valid), means that he must be transphobic. That is some garbled up logic!

If someone declares, “Men are not oppressed,” this doesn’t mean that they hate men or think men are all terrible people. You can check your masculine privilege without hating your identity.

It’s so easy for people to think in all-or-nothing extremes. Being aware of your privilege doesn’t mean shaming or putting yourself down. Making space for minorities to speak up doesn’t mean you are being oppressed or abased.

Racism

I can’t imagine how this accusation came about. But I do know from reading Devon’s books and many articles that he’s very conscientious. He talks about different facets of diversity, from sexuality, gender identity, disability status, ethnic identity, social class, etc.

He uses case examples from different groups, many of whom are people of color. And he highlights the issue of intersectionality, where some people are especially vulnerable to attacks and discrimination when they have multiple minority statuses. (E.g. Black trans women.)

If I can hazard a guess, I think some people are quick to assume racism if the person is white. And it’s incredibly easy to misread words, especially if you lack context and don’t know the person’s background, which is the case most of the time on the internet.

I am Asian, and have often commented on Devon’s articles about my cultural experiences, and how I may differ from white trans folks. Devon has always been sympathetic and validating in his responses to me, never dismissive. I’ve never seen Devon be invalidating towards folks who bring up their ethnic differences in the comments.

He openly states that he is white and thus benefits from white privilege, so he wants to make sure he doesn’t talk over racial minorities. From what I’ve seen, he is receptive to feedback in that area as well.

For instance, he has written with great sensitivity on helping Palestinians during this war. He explains his political background that informs him, but he adds the disclaimer that he is white, so his voice shouldn’t be prioritized over those of Palestinians.

I especially enjoyed how he supports the Palestinian civilians, while also asserting that the fault is with the Israeli government, not with Israeli civilians or Jewish people in general.

Too many people have a black-and-white, “you’re either our friend or our enemy” viewpoint. So I’m happy that Devon makes these distinctions. Yes, we can help one group without hurting the other group.

It’s worth mentioning as well that he has a massive following (60+ K on Medium and 20+ K on Twitter), and gets many messages and comments. You can’t expect him to reply to every single one, because nobody has the time or energy to reply to hundreds or even thousands of messages. (Not exaggerating.)

So of course he would leave some unanswered, and perhaps those people were angry that they didn’t get a response, and assumed that he just didn’t care.

Misogyny

This accusation could be because of Devon’s “Female Socialization Is a Transphobic Myth” article. Let me explain what he meant.

Devon points out that many people assigned female at birth, including himself, did not experience things that are commonly associated with “female upbringing.”

For instance, Devon was outspoken and never had a problem having his opinions respected, even when he was read as female. He was the esteemed debate captain back in high school, too.

My own experiences as someone assigned female at birth were similar. Even when I was read as a woman, people took me seriously and valued my opinions.

This doesn’t mean that my thoughts are spectacular, but I did not experience the shutdown of my opinions like many women have. Perhaps I was in very female-friendly spaces.

So, Devon argued that “female socialisation” is a transphobic myth, because you assume that since someone was assigned female at birth, it must mean that they were taught certain traits growing up.

Even among cis women, you see a wide variety of family upbringings, which also varies depending on culture, social class, etc. Hence why Devon cautions us not to use the “female socialization” argument.

You could argue that calling this “transphobic” is too harsh, but Devon likely used that term to make people pay more attention, rather than to brush this issue under the rug.

Plus, “transphobia” doesn’t literally have to mean “hating or fearing trans people.” It could simply mean having inaccurate beliefs that are harmful to trans folks, regardless of your intentions.

Many people will argue that this definition is too broad and will cover everyone under the sun (including trans people themselves). But this is another debate I will not get into. I just wanted to point out this other definition of transphobia.

Here’s another article Devon wrote that might have sparked misogyny accusations — “Toxic Femininity Holds All of Us Back.” By toxic femininity, it’s like toxic masculinity where he was criticising a culture, not the people themselves.

When we criticise toxic masculinity, we are critiquing the cultural teaching; we are not bashing men. So toxic femininity is also a critique of the social mores, not an attack against women.

I swear, some people can’t tell the difference between attacking people versus chastising a cultural idea.

Devon used personal experiences to talk about toxic femininity. A part of this is the pressure for women to be slim, beautiful, dress nicely, be meek and unassertive, etc. Not everyone had the same upbringing, but it is a common one.

These social standards that women hold other women to, are harmful, even if they don’t realize what they’re doing.

So that was all Devon was saying, but people called him misogynistic and said he hated women…

Last Thoughts

It’s not bad to call people out for their behavior, or to hold them accountable. Yet, it sucks when things are taken out of context, or simply misread. People need to remember how easy it is to misinterpret words on the internet, especially if they don’t know much about the author, or read relatively little of their work.

Devon boldly challenges some blind spots many of us have. Unfortunately, many people are unable to see nuances, and simply label him as an enemy or traitor, because they’re so determined to be tribalistic about it. They can’t see what he’s really saying.

It’s so easy to throw around words like transphobic, racist, and misogynistic. These words shut down conversations, and misunderstandings get perpetuated far and wide, to the point where any self-defense by the author is seen as hostility and defensiveness.

Don’t get me wrong. Some people are truly horrible and deserve to be called these things. But Devon is not one of them.

I wish people would spend more time thinking, and read more carefully, before they label someone as some bad thing or another. Or they could at least suspend their judgement and be open to other interpretations, given how easy it is to miscommunicate.

No one deserves to be ambushed by the masses over a silly misunderstanding.

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Originally published in Prism & Pen on Dec 18, 2023