A Shadowy Past (Anastasia the Nonbinary Dragon)
Ana should have known then that something was wrong.
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Ana watched with indignation as Narwal flew away.
Ze tried zir best to comfort Revi and zir mothers from his disruption. Revi the gold dragon stomped across the grass before flying off to hunt for his next meal.
Ana vowed to protect zir loved ones from bastards like Narwal. Yet, there was something ze couldn’t tell them.
Many years ago, Anastasia created an…alliance with Narwal, unbeknownst to zir parents.
When Ana was a small child, ze studied in the palace school with the children of nobles.
Ze was lonely but also too aloof to make friends, to zir mothers’ chagrin.
Yet, there was a terrible incident that changed that perpetual solitude.
Despite being the only royal, ze was mostly ignored by the other kids, as the red dragon was quite sullen and rejecting of their attention. Ze was willing to talk a bit more with Revi, as he was a fellow outcast and never tried to push zir boundaries.
Yet one day, a new kid, by the name of Xue, came to study with them. He was a snow-white dragon, bright eyed and excitable.
At first, Anastasia ignored his friendly attempts at conversation, like ze did with everyone else. But it quickly became obvious that despite his friendliness, most of the other children shunned him, for reasons unknown to Ana.
The red dragon thought it was pitiful how he tried to fit in, since ze believed that it was better to be independent, which was why Ana had more respect for Revi, even though ze and the gold dragon shifter rarely spoke to one another.
But Xue said something that Ana would never forget. “If we were all mirages, what does that make you and I?”
That sounded like some strange, rambling, philosophical nonsense.
The white dragon went on, “Mirages are fake, aren’t they? But we are so real, shockingly real.”
Ana had been trying and failing to concentrate on a book. Ze snapped at him, “What are you getting at? Can’t you be more straightforward?”
The white dragon, still in his dragon form, stared into the distance, his eyes becoming glassy. He gulped. “Just saying that there are things we shouldn’t take for granted, is all.”
Anastasia arched an eyebrow at his cryptic wording, then went back to reading zir book.
Without warning, Xue started throwing up.
Anastasia jumped back, stunned as zir classmate continued to heave. Nobody else was in the classroom, and Ana considered calling for an adult for help. But ze stayed with him.
After the white dragon couldn’t hurl anymore, he lay on the ground, drained.
Anastasia was about to summon a servant to clean up the mess, when Xue coughed. “Please, don’t tell anyone, but I’m dying.”
The red dragon gaped. “That’s not funny.”
“No, it isn’t,” Xue agreed as he rested a wing on his forehead. “I don’t have long to live. I’ve been sick for a while, but I was able to hide it until now. We’re not really friends, but I think I can trust you. Can you keep my secret?”
Anastasia hadn’t thought much about the implications of secrecy. Ze was too young to give things a thorough thought. Ze was also overwhelmed with panic, assuming Xue was right about his impending death. So ze agreed not to tell anybody.
At Ana’s words, Xue let loose a long breath. “Thank you.”
Not that Ana ever gave up. Ze thought about it often and asked Xue about his illness and what he had tried. Even if they weren’t “friends” per se, ze was determined to save his life. It wasn’t fair for someone that young to die so soon.
Weeks later, Anastasia decided to sneak inside a milk barn in the palace, to get cow-shifter milk, which ze heard had miraculous healing effects.
Zir parents had been getting Ana to drink a cup of it every day, to make zir extra fit and strong. Ana didn’t love it but obliged to keep peace with zir mothers. Ze had considered hiding the cup of milk to give to Xue instead. But Leyla and Teefa would be too sharp-eyed for the red dragon to get away with that.
So instead, Anastasia planned to stalk into the palace dairy. Ze was most familiar with zir adoptive Auntie Lucille. Lucille had been staying at the barn to feed her calf milk.
Anastasia waited till the dead of night when everyone was asleep to act. Ze snuck inside, the guards not daring to challenge Anastasia, the child of the princesses.
Lucille was drowsy, and her calf was sleeping. Ana promptly morphed into zir human form. With some guilt, Anastasia moved the calf aside. Then ze went to get Lucille’s milk. The cow stirred as Ana started milking her, the way ze saw the servants do it many times before.
The cow mooed with confusion but didn’t stop Ana, to the dragon shifter’s relief. When Ana successfully got a full litre of milk from her, Lucille at last broke out of her trance and hissed, “Tundra? What are you doing here?”
Tundra was Ana’s former name, which ze went by at the time. Anastasia stiffened but said, “I’m sorry. I need this for someone.”
Before Lucille could reply, Anastasia already fled the barn with the bottle of milk.
Xue was alarmed when Anastasia accosted him the next day with the milk. “I can’t believe you stole milk from the palace cows, from your own Aunt Lucille, no less.”
Ana shrugged. “If it cures you, why not?”
After some coaxing and nudging, Anastasia got Xue to drink. In fact, ze told him to take the rest of the milk home and keep drinking it until the whole litre was gone.
Xue grimaced. At the time, Ana just assumed the white dragon was being stubborn and didn’t enjoy the taste of the milk. Ana should have known then that something was wrong.
The following day, the red dragon shifter waited in class for zir friend to show up. But the teacher announced that Xue was sick and couldn’t attend.
Unease coiled in Ana’s gut, but ze thought that the milk was doing battle with the toxins in his body, so of course he would still be suffering. Since he had been vomiting, he wouldn’t be able to hide his illness, either.
Yet, Xue was still absent for days after, then a week. One day, while Ana stayed behind in class to complete some work, a man stalked into the classroom, a cruel smile curling up on his face. It was Narwal, one of the officials of the dragon court. He was also Xue’s uncle. Ana often saw him pick up his nephew from school.
Anastasia went still as the man approached zir. He was broad-shouldered and his black hair gleamed with some stylistic gel. He made a mocking bow to Ana. Then he launched into his attack: “Thanks to you, Tundra, my nephew is dead.”
The red dragon shifter recoiled as if the man had hit zir. “You lie,” ze hissed.
Narwal chuckled. “No, I do not. Just because cow shifter milk is nutritious and good for most people, doesn’t mean it’s a cure for all diseases.” He sighed. “My poor nephew. Deep down, he probably knew it was wrong, but he listened to you and guzzled down all that milk, anyway. He wasted away these past several days and stopped breathing today.”
Ana noted how cold and detached the man was. Ze glared. “Prove it. I don’t believe you.”
Narwal smirked. “I can take you to his grave. I don’t suppose you want to dig up his remains, do you?”
Anastasia shuddered but demanded to be taken to his grave anyway, thinking that Narwal must be bluffing.
To zir dismay, the black dragon shifter really did bring zir to the cemetery. It was a gravestone built from marble, and Xue’s family were crying in front of it. Xue’s parents greeted Ana, and the red dragon shifter stared at zir friend’s grave, unspeaking.
Narwal “offered” to escort Anastasia home. Ze wanted to decline but didn’t want to make Xue’s family suspicious, as it would be odd for a royal child to refuse an escort from a palace official.
When Ana and Narwal reached a quieter part of the road, Narwal said, his tone cool and hard, “Tundra, while you have killed my nephew, I know you did it because you wanted to help him, not harm him. But I doubt everyone will understand that. And I’m afraid being a royal child won’t save you from jail. But I won’t reveal what you did to anyone.”
Anastasia cast him a wary glance. “What are you getting at?” ze asked, sensing a condition.
The older dragon shifter showed his teeth as he smiled. “You’ll need to grant me favors, your Royal Highness. Don’t worry. They won’t be ridiculous favors, only things that would be easy for you to do.”
During the next few years, Anastasia, under Narwal’s bidding, said some good words about him to some important dragons, including Queen Freya. As a result, Narwal gained a big legion of followers and even soldiers. His wealth grew so much that it rivalled Freya’s.
Anastasia felt guilty about all this, even though ze was only a child and believed ze shouldn’t have had this much influence. But Narwal was smart and strategic. He deliberately picked Ana, an unpopular and very young royal, so that zir opinion would feel extra sincere. Narwal was careful to have Ana say praises that sounded genuine and valid, rather than any bombastic or vague flattery.
All this hell was a reason why Ana fled to work with the Valve dragons soon after ze completed zir studies. Thankfully, Narwal hadn’t tried to stop Ana, but by that time, he was already one of the most powerful lords. He never spoke to Ana again — until now.
Lucille had complained over the years about Ana stealing her milk. Anastasia just made up some story about having a poor friend who couldn’t afford cow shifter milk. That he was sick and needed the milk, and got better soon afterwards.
Despite her abrasiveness, Lucille wasn’t a bad person, Ana thought. She griped about getting milked without her permission, but she didn’t complain about zir giving the milk to a poor friend in need. It was pure luck that the cow shifter didn’t inquire for further details.
So only Narwal knew, as he said, that Xue’s parents didn’t know anything about the milk. Narwal had been the only one who witnessed his nephew gollop down all that milk.
Xue had told his uncle that Anastasia stole the milk for him to cure his illness. But he sensed that this shouldn’t be public knowledge, so he begged his uncle not to tell anyone else.
Narwal kept his word. Xue’s parents believed that their son died from the illness that had already been taking over his life, day by day.
So when Narwal disrupted Ana, Revi, and zir mothers at the green field after Queen Freya’s death, Ana was angry, wound up. But ze didn’t want to risk defying him outright.
Ze figured that ze could make Narwal a part of zir court, to keep him satisfied and also to keep zir enemy close. There was no telling what Narwal would reveal to everyone if not.
Yet, even if Ana didn’t get punished for zir crime, since ze would be the ruler now, ze still didn’t want anyone to know what ze did.
Nevertheless, though Ana planned to accept Narwal, ze would make sure he didn’t gain the full advantage.
Anastasia now turned to Revi, zir friend, looking sullen as he tore into a deer he caught during his hunt. Ana said, “Revi, I have a proposal for you…”
