A Brave Change

Click here to go back to the previous chapter, ‘A Daring Escape.’ Or return to the beginning of the ‘Hidden Hearts’ series. Here is the chapter guide.

At first, Ada felt triumphant. She had successfully taken the horse from a cruel driver who was abusive to him. And Jasmine, the woman Ada loved, sat peacefully behind her in the carriage, even if she didn’t feel the same way about Ada.

But she still felt victorious, because, as a woman, Ada would not be permitted to drive a carriage. Oddly enough, ladies were allowed to ride horses, albeit via side saddle.

As the night deepened, they tried to stay in the main streets, which had the brightest street lamps. But they soon admitted that they had gotten lost. Ada had some horse riding experience, but she didn’t know the directions from the Diamond Cottage back to Jasmine’s manor. The Diamond Cottage was the posh house where they had hosted Jasmine’s birthday party.

As for Jasmine herself, she had never bothered to recall these directions, as she never needed to, not when there were drivers for hire. She was adventurous and didn’t often use their family’s carriage; she wanted to be more spontaneous, which was one of the many things Ada loved about her.

“It’s late and we’re driving with a strange horse,” Ada stated. She had bribed the horse to transport them, by feeding him the pudding she had saved from the party. But she would run out of the dessert soon.

Behind her, Jasmine sighed. Then she murmured, “Ada, if you don’t mind me suggesting this, why don’t you disguise yourself as a man? You can pretend to be my husband, and as a couple, we could easily ask for directions or even lodgings.”

Ada was struck dumb by this proposal. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. But it hurt because Jasmine only meant for this to be a roleplay. Nevertheless, Jasmine must have seen her facial expression, because she quickly said, “It’s fine if you don’t want to. I can dress up as the husband, then.” She flashed Ada a cheeky grin. “I’ve done it before and I am a convincing boy!”

Ada gaped, but, in a moment that surprised even herself, she replied, “No, I’ll be glad to be the husband. It could be fun.” It was just for their survival, Ada thought. Don’t get your hopes up.

Her grief was almost worth it when she saw Jasmine’s face light up with mischief. She waved to Ada to hide in the carriage. When Jasmine took out her materials from her satchel, Ada laughed with genuine mirth. “I don’t know how you can carry so much with you.”

Jasmine winked with a conspiratorial air. “I prepare myself for all sorts of circumstances. Sometimes I travel alone, so I had to learn how to fend for myself. Now sit down, Mister Ada!”

Ada chuckled and sat. For some reason, it felt good when Jasmine called her “Mister.”

And then, Jasmine did her magic. Ada giggled but stayed still as Jasmine applied her brush and powders. She told Ada to slip into some boy’s clothes that she usually brought for herself. Ada was taller than Jasmine, so they weren’t a perfect fit, but they would be good enough to fool the eye. These clothes still felt more comfortable than her usual feminine attire. Especially with the corset removed.

At last, Jasmine rolled her hair up to trap it all under a fedora. She beamed at her creation, and fished out a mirror for Ada to look.

Ada gasped. Staring back at her was the face of a handsome young man. If Ada had a brother, this would be him exactly. Jasmine touched her shoulder. “You are frankly the most beautiful man I have ever met, except for my brother, of course,” she teased.

Ada punched her friend’s shoulder as a playful retort. But she found herself grinning. She was enjoying this much more than she expected.

“We need to give you a pseudonym. What shall we call you?” Jasmine asked.

Ada’s first thought was “Emmett,” but they were supposed to be husband and wife, not brother and sister. And using Emmett’s name felt wrong, as he had been vulnerable and confessed his secret love for Ada. He even made his confession via a fireworks message at the end of his sister’s birthday party, out of all places.

Instead, Ada thought of a different name on the spot: “Ivan.” She pronounced it as “Ee-van” rather than “Eye-van.”

At that, Jasmine snickered and Ada laughed with her. Ada (Ivan) decided to refer to himself by masculine pronouns even in his mind, in case their disguise slipped up. Jasmine and Ada (Ivan) were thinking of a beloved book, The Brothers Karamazov by Dostoyevsky. For some reason, Ada had sympathised most with Ivan Karamazov, the second brother. He was the intellectual, arrogant lawyer, who later revealed that he wasn’t as strong as he pretended to be.

Jasmine had liked the youngest brother, Alyosha Karamazov, the most. Alyosha was kind, sweet, and selfless. Jasmine had even joked that they should assign Dimitri Karamazov, the brutish oldest brother, to Emmett. But her brother had wrinkled his nose and declared that he didn’t like any of them, though he sympathised with Dimitri’s fiancée, Katerina Ivanovna.

With that, Ivan went with his “wife” Jasmine to ask for directions. To their astonishment, they had gone off in the completely wrong direction. But they were both tired, so they resolved to stay at a nearby inn.

Ivan lowered his voice to a gruff tone, and ordered a room for Mr and Mrs Wilderberry — the fictional surname they had agreed on. Jasmine was clearly trying not to laugh at the whole charade.

Then they decided with the innkeeper that they would put their horse in the stable, and stow their carriage in the storage room. The innkeeper, an older man with white hair, bowed obsequiously and promised to keep them safe.

Jasmine insisted on taking all their valuables with them, however, including the golden hairpiece that Ada (Ivan) was wearing earlier. Ivan didn’t care about any hairpieces at this point. He just enjoyed being a boy.

***

Jasmine and Ivan retired to their room after eating a smidgen of soup and bread for supper. Of course, there was only one bed, as they were expected to share it as a couple. Ivan was abashed, while Jasmine just laughed. “Nobody’s around. We don’t need to pretend anymore. Relax,” she said.

Ivan’s mood deflated. Yes, they weren’t truly a couple, and Ivan was only Ada. Ada sighed and started changing out of her garments to sleep.

Jasmine put a gentle hand on her arm. “Ada — or Ivan, if you enjoy wearing men’s clothes, you absolutely can. It would be easier for us to leave the next morning if you already look the part.”

Ada deliberated, but then shook her head. “I would just be avoiding reality. I can play make-believe again tomorrow.” She took off her fedora and let her long, luxurious black hair tumble down past her shoulders.

Jasmine looked at her with concern, but she also seemed confused. “If you say so! But if it brings you joy, you can play make-believe more often than not.”

Ada wanted to say she didn’t have that kind of luxury, but she was too tired to argue. She still hesitated before going to bed. Jasmine prodded her on the shoulder. “It’s just me. I won’t snore.”

Ada flashed her friend a smile. No matter what her feelings for Jasmine, they were still friends. There was no need to be so embarrassed about sharing the same bed.

As lovelorn as Ada was, she thought Jasmine looked so sweet and innocent, with her soft hair flowing all about her on the long pillow they shared. Ada must have been too exhausted, because she soon fell asleep.

But she was rudely awoken by Jasmine a few hours later. Jasmine hissed, “Get up, get up! I knew this would happen but I was too foolish and took our chances. Our horse, and the carriage, are gone. Stolen.”

It took a few moments for Ada to fully awaken and realize the gravity of their situation. “What in the Lord’s name?”

But Jasmine was already tugging her out of bed. “I couldn’t sleep, so I sneaked out to peek around,” she said. “Just as I suspected, the innkeeper was a lying thief and took our horse — he’s no longer in the stable. The carriage in the ‘storage room’ is of course taken as well.”

Jasmine was all tense, and Ada breathed deeply in and out. When her head cleared a bit, Ada asked, “Do we still have all of our silver?”

Jasmine finally relaxed. “Yes, thankfully. It was a good thing I insisted on keeping them on our person, and luckily, they had the grace not to rob us inside our room.” She shook her head. “It’s not as if I had no experience with this, but I was too careless, too confident! Let’s get you back into your boy’s clothes.”

Ada gaped for a second, then nodded. She ignored the feeling of glee that she could “play pretend” again. Moments later, Ada became Ivan. He declared in a low, rumbling voice, “Whoever did this to us, will pay.”

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Originally published in The Kraken Lore on Oct 10, 2023